Why giving away money is hard but important?
And how could we get better at this game?
The late 1990s was financially brutal for my family due to the losses incurred from my parent’s wrong choices regarding loans taken and the subsequent business shutdown. What followed was 10 years of hustle and odd jobs to earn whatever I could and pay off those loans, bit by bit. I eventually paid off the creditors in full in 2008 but those years needed every bit of help I could get e.g.
My colleagues in SCB helped me pay off my cards before coming to Dubai for a job
My aunt provided assistance on a monthly basis for house expenses and even offered to pay for my MBA fees for 2 years (2001 - 2003), which I availed of as I had no means to pay INR 60,000 then
My cousin provided me with quality clothing to look presentable while I attended college
My clients trusted me with money inspite of having no experience in managing money in 2003 (post-MBA)
And there were other acts of generosity and kindness extended to me from unexpected quarters and even strangers. If not for these, I would have faltered or even derailed completely from the path of success I eventually embarked upon (Disclaimer # if I could call my current trajectory as success).
Since paying off our loans completely, I have saved a decent nest egg and even made efforts to save 10% of all my income which goes into contributions that make life easier for someone or promote a cause I believe in. A few things I am really proud of and happy for are listed below-
Funding my barber’s sister's wedding and helping him to travel to South America for a new job. Today, he runs his own salon there and seems to be happy creating a successful business from scratch
Funding few cousin’s education expenses during their growing years and today they are employed in decent jobs and working hard to become successful and independent
Funding institutions that are committed to educating Indians on our history and culture which seems to have been lost or kept out of mainstream due to many vested interests in politics
Funding training programs that educate students from the poorest parts of India and train them to crack the toughest competitive exams in India for no fees in return eg. IIT/IIM
Funding child support programs from India & Nepal. I have even committed to the education expenses of 5 kids till they graduate.
And there would be umpteen more small gestures to help people around me in some way other, especially financially. But the important message herein isn’t about giving money away, it's rather to understand the power these contributions have in people’s lives and how it forwards humanity one brick at a time.
These contributions may look small, even insignificant when compared to your income or net worth, but for the ones on the receiving end, these could be the one ray of hope that he/she was looking forward to for fighting another day, to have faith that things will be alright, or to build strength to accomplish the purpose they are aiming for.
The title of this newsletter may give you the impression that all my posts may be about investing money, but that’s not the truth. My intention through these writings is to cover the psychology that goes into investing time, money, or attention in every domain of our lives that moves the needle for us in living a wholesome life, filled with abundance and happiness.
Hence I thought about writing this post when I had a distant relative call yesterday for some financial help. He wasn’t very open about the problems he may be actually going through and I don’t blame him. When you are down and just trying hard to survive, you will put a brave front in front of others and fight every urge to show your desperation. And hats off to those who win this internal fight time and again, because it's these people that do end up staying in the fight longer than many others.
Many times, this is what ultimately counts - willing to take the blows and still keep fighting or biding time till you gather strength to hit back.
I could help because I have the resources to help in my own little ways and I didn’t even think for a second to ask him to come over and see me. There may be questions that I don’t have answers to -
Will this money be actually used productively or will it be spent unwisely?
Is he getting lazy and getting addicted to the mercy of strangers or is this a bridge-gap arrangement for him and he realises that?
Am I going to even be thanked for the support extended?
Will I ever get the funds back?
I don’t have the answers to these but what I do know is that the odds are 50:50 for the funds to be used effectively and the portion that does get used well, will create a lasting impact in society, as was the case with funds contributed towards my earlier bouts of survival.
It may help the receiver to survive longer, upskill, build connections, find a new job or a new client, excel in his job, build a sustainable business, or hit a jackpot in some way. It is impossible to exactly see how the future will unfold, but it just might unfold beautifully for a survivor who has been gifted a few more days of expenses or a burst of fresh air because of your generosity. Or it may not.
You can’t know that in advance and hence it’s futile to get a clearer picture before helping out.
What you could actually control is to increase the odds of your contributions being used effectively. Just giving money away thoughtlessly to thousands of organizations springing up for causes in countries or societies across the globe won't matter much. Your contributions might just be enriching many or funding causes you may be shocked to discover, in case you were naive enough to believe that all groups/societies/organizations have benevolent intentions.
Some are there to milk you purely because you are too lazy to get better at contributing wisely.
In case you thought it was easy, I must warn you that’s even more difficult than earning the money you have. And earning money is darn difficult too, especially a good amount of money that could afford the comforts for people you love and care for.
In case you’d like to get better at making an impact, then you will have to make the effort to do the following (choose any one if not more) -
Know the people involved behind these organizations and understand their motivations to be involved in this work
Know the output being generated by these organizations and maybe even connect with direct beneficiaries, if you can
Visit the places where this work is getting done
Talk to the volunteers involved in carrying out the good work
Trust only sources you deeply admire and respect, and who are very well known to be sticklers for thorough due diligence in anything they undertake (my preferred route)
Do some background checks on the vintage, donors, and reviews of the entity being considered
You won’t get all the answers you seek, but the very act of exercising caution before giving money away would go a long way in you playing this game thoughtfully.
As for the world, it’s increasingly gotten chaotic and overwhelming for many to keep pace with the changes in their chosen industries, perform with focus and intensity in this noisy realm, and maintain sanity when it’s even difficult to distinguish fact from fiction.
This only calls for more empathy on our part to understand the reality of many being tough for no fault of theirs, and doing whatever we can to uplift them and give them a fighting chance to make things happen for their families too.
If you look back at your life or your parents, then I would wager that someone did help out in a small way which proved instrumental in changing the trajectory of their/your lives. And if these acts of kindness have moved the needle for us in the past, how about continuing the work to make a difference to as many as we can?
Let’s just do it more thoughtfully. Giving away money isn’t as important as giving away money in a manner that makes the world a better place to live in !!!
Now, that’s going to take some work and I invite you to indulge in this a bit more than you did before reading this piece.
I’m counting on you 👍🏻