The society has convinced you that 'Pleasure' & 'Happiness' are the same, but they are not. There is an ocean of difference between the two and it's high time you get this right !!
Neurotransmitters - Duration - Solo vs Group - Binging vs Making a Difference
I am not surprised by the question mentioned in the title. Both these words are used interchangeably and casually on most occasions, with little understanding of the difference between them. There is an ocean between the two, and I want to elaborate on that for your benefit.
Pleasure is defined as ‘a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment’, whereas happiness is defined as ‘the state of being happy’.
You see the reason for the confusion. Even the dictionary fails to elaborate on the nuances between these two words. Let me give you a summarised version of the differences that were discussed on the DOAC podcast, where Steven Bartlett (host) discusses longevity-related topics with Sugar expert Dr. Robest Lustig.
You will have to go through the podcast to get a detailed technical understanding of the points mentioned above (I recommend it), but I will share my point of view below.
If you could evaluate your last 7 days and ask yourself how much time has gone into chasing pleasure vs. the time that has gone into pursuing happiness, you would be surprised with the answers if you were brutally honest.
All the time chasing pleasure has looked lie or included the following -
Constantly getting distracted
Spending beyond your means
Choosing comfort over hard things
Binge eating of salty or sugary foods
Non-stop consumption of social media
Daily indulgence in watching sports for hours
Indulging in easy conversations and procrastinating the difficult ones
Drinking liquor/socializing regularly at the cost of health or productivity
All the examples above relate to the points mentioned in the table, i.e., dopamine hits, short-lived, experienced alone, and involve binging nonstop, like being seduced into playing games at a casino.
Whereas happiness may look like or include the following -
The feeling post-closing a difficult client
The mutual respect that builds after a difficult conversation
The contentment post a hard workout session at the gym / HIIT
The state of calm when you're relaxing at the beach without your mobile
The joy of completing something difficult, e.g., clearing exams for a new language
The emotions you feel of having giving it your all at the end of the day and with no energy left
Sticking to your resolve even if everyone around you is indulging in old habits, e.g., not eating unhealthy or carbs heavy food while everyone was dunking on it
The emotions you feel when you make a tangible difference in someone else's life or even take time out to hear someone out (sometimes that is all they need)
I’m sure you see the pattern in the examples provided above, i.e., long-lived, experienced in groups, didn’t need an intake of a substance; it’s a state of being and hence ethereal, and laced with serotonin (a neurotransmitter that makes you feel calm, focused, and content).
The toughest battle is with the abundance of dopamine that gets released while chasing pleasure. It hooks you in, seduces you into going further and further, and by the time you realize it, you have burned hours of time or loads of money on short-term things.
As for happiness, it needs conscious effort, which is possible only if you have a certain direction in your line of thought. A certain direction doesn't mean crystal clear goals. A high intensity towards a certain desired future will do the trick.
Longevity and Leadership are two central values that have always determined most of my choices. I have tattooed certain values on my arms, set up constant reminders through readwise and the calendar app, and put up a painting of my role models in front of me in my workspace that keeps reminding me of the direction I need to be in.
It’s that anchoring that allows you to pursue happiness instead of saying yes to pleasure. Unless you are clear about the value system or principles you want to give your life to, you will fall into traps repeatedly, causing you harm in more ways than you can imagine.
Wishing you a fantastic weekend ahead.
Sending you loads of love and luck from Dubai 🧿
Manish