People Magnet - is there even such a thing ?

There is. And boy, how much it helps to be one !!!

“How to find a good spouse?

- the best single way is to deserve a good spouse.” ― Charles T. Munger

I was going through the Founders Podcast episode on Charlie Munger and it was one of the best things I heard this week. Not only does the episode does a stellar job of highlighting the traits of Mr. Munger that made him a multi-billionaire, but it also touches upon the value system that you and I can imbibe in our lives too.

And one of the lessons that kept coming up was the contribution that others can make in your life, directly or indirectly. But that would only happen if you allowed it to happen. And how would that be?

Let’s dig in 👇

You may look at so many examples of extreme success and wonder whether it was skill, luck, attitude, persistence, or some other personal trait that set them apart. I surely did.

But when I started digging for information on all those who inspire me, I realized that for every success story, there are 100 or 1000 other stories about equally driven, talented, ambitious, skilled people who never saw the light of that glorious day. These stories landed up being like those books on your shelves which never get opened or reviewed or spoken about. Dusty & forgotten with time. What about the ones who made it to the top? Is there a common thread in all their journeys?

YES, there is — SOMEONE TOOK A LIKING TO THEM !!!! As simply put as I’d come to believe.

At the age of 30, Amitabh Bachan (India’s biggest movie star) had 12 flops, and only 2 hits (one as the lead in Bombay to Goa and one as a supporting role in Anand). When Zanjeer was written by Salim-Javed, it was turned down by many actors then who considered it against their romantic hero persona. Salim-Javed took a liking to Amitabh and introduced him to the movie director Mr. Prakash Mehra and insisted that he be cast in the lead role. It went on to win 4 Filmfare Awards, 9 nominations, 4 regional remakes, and Amitabh never had to look back from his “Angry Young Man Persona” and he is going strong even today.

Deval Sahay took a liking to MS Dhoni when he was in his teens. Within 1 year, he moved from playing in CCL to playing for Bihar Ranji Team. And India A happened from which Sourav Ganguly & Ravi Shastri spotted MS Dhoni and the rest is history.

Satish Mohan took it upon himself to be Geet Sethi’s coach and mentor. Geet eventually went on to win more than 20 Billiards Championships, out of which 5 are Professional World Championships of 1992, 1993, 1995, 1998, and 2006.

Richard Turner is the 2014 & 2017 recipient of the Close-Up Magician of the Year Award from the Academy of Magical Arts and is the subject of the documentary DEALT. This is one of the best documentaries I have seen of a man who has entertained the world for years using card tricks BUT who himself cannot see. How did a blind teen take up cards and become a pro at it? It was Dai Vernon who took a liking to Richard and you have to hear it from Richard himself on his fascinating journey.

I was listening to a podcast of Stephen Schwarzman, Chairman and CEO of Blackstone Group, the world’s biggest Private Equity player and he shares in his interview with Shane Parish that he was taken on board in his first Investment Bank job because the interviewer took a liking to him. 35 years in Banking now and owns one of the most prestigious Investment Banking entities out there.

These were talented, ambitious, skilled, enthusiastic people just like 1000s others who didn’t make it. But the one thing that stands out clearly is someone taking a chance on you, someone taking a liking for you, someone willing to bet on you. Just the way Dr. Dre betted everything on Eminem. Both were struggling when they came together. The movie Defiant Ones can take you on a journey of these two incredibly gifted souls and what magic happened once they were together.

SOMEONE GOTTO TAKE A LIKING TO YOU !!!

Now comes the tricky part 🧩

You can’t work for it, you can’t prepare for it, you can’t plan for it, and you can’t hope and pray for it. These ain’t strategies that you could reliably depend on. But there is one thing you can do that increases your odds of this serendipity.

And that is — BE DAMN GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO that it will be impossible for you not to get noticed by someone who has an eye for quality people. Yes, that’s exactly what I meant — BE DAMN GOOD !!!

This might sound contrary to the piece I wrote last week, where I suggested avoiding the bad instead of stressing about being good. But you will still have to conduct your affairs, and this time I am suggesting, that you must carry them out in the most effective and efficient manner possible. Being the best at your game, and avoiding the bad that could hurt you - could be a deadly combination for home run after home run.

Now you might already be thinking that you are good, you are better than many, you are caring, you are loving, you are different, BUT your opinion doesn’t matter here. And things become worse when you have your own biases which don’t let you see the whole picture without your own judgments and rationalizations mixed in.

Dunning Kruger Effect exactly states this bias wherein people overestimate their own abilities resulting in illusory superiority which may just make you go lax at improving in your chosen field. No wonder it is said that Success is its own biggest enemy, cos success makes you go slow, get lax, and get lazy. You stop doing what got you there in the first place. It’s tougher to handle Success compared to Failure. But sadly, it’s your blind spot and you don’t get to see it till it’s too late many a times.

What matters is do you stand out in your performance, your reasoning, your thinking, your handling of relationships, your work, your work ethic, and your commitments. These ain’t the questions you should answer on your own for the very reasons explained above. These are questions you should ask at least 10 people around you, especially those you respect and admire. It is their feedback that would give you a perspective into how you are actually landing on others, what is the perception out there, and what the no.s tell about your work (every profession has its own evaluation metrics and I am sure yours has too), do people consider you dependable.

Feedback from the ones you look up to could give you an insight that you won’t get in a high-cost MBA or from your best friends. But you will surely get this from people who don’t care to impress you but rather say the truth.

And if you had the humility to take this feedback and work upon yourself day in and day out, honing your craft, sharpening your skills, improving your relationships, and getting better at the game you have chosen to grow in, it is almost inevitable that you will get recognized for your work and that in turn, will bring you more work, more opportunities, more recognition eventually turning into a life full of opportunities that people would do anything for. This is how it looks when you turn into a PEOPLE MAGNET !!!

And in the worst case scenario, if this wasn’t to be and someone didn’t take a liking to you or didn’t take you under their wings, I am sure that you can still go to sleep peacefully with the knowledge that you gave your best, you served well, you added value, you stood up for your beliefs, you loved and you respected others. This in itself is a life lived well !!!

As for how long could it take for this to happen?

No one knows. So don’t get restless or lose patience about this happening. Just know that you can put one step after another, that’s all you can do, and that’s all in your control. Rest would have to take its own course. And the only way to get comfortable with this fact is to play the long game i.e. the infinite game.

I will let Simon Sinek summarise the piece for you -

“As for us those who choose to embrace the infinite mindset, our journey is one that will lead us to feel inspired every morning, safe when we are working, and fulfilled at the end of each day.  And when it’s time to leave the game we will look back at our lives and our careers and say, “I lived a life worth living and important when imaging what the future holds, we will see how many people we’ve inspired to carry on the journey without us.”

---

Recommendations for the week #

Lawrence Yeo is a writer who covers important topics in the most thought-provoking manner, using cartoons, humor, and very easy prose. He writes about money, relationships, ambition, success, failure, and many subjects which may seem mundane but are not. These need to be thought about until it gets built into our mental frameworks, making us wiser in our decision-making. His last piece on the levers that money can’t pull is a beautiful read and a very important one. I would not attempt to summarize that, and will only urge you to read this piece. You will be happy to have read it !!

Jack Raines wrote a piece on ‘Fighting Entropy’ and it was a very unique perspective on dealing with aging, procrastination, difficult conversations, and doing great work. This piece will perk you up to fight your battles harder, and to come out stronger every single time. I loved it 👌

---

Wishing you all a fantastic Sunday.

Sending you loads of love & luck 🧿

Manish