Non Stop and 24/7

Your brains are wired for it. Too bad.

(Photo by Korie Cull on Unsplash)

“So is he on board?” I asked my associate to which he replied “No he decided to give it a pass”

I asked “Why?” and he says “because he (prospect) didn’t think highly enough of you by looking at your shoes. He even said that if Manish was successful then why isn’t he wearing LV shoes or a Gucci belt?”

“Amazing” was my response. 

And amazing was the takeaway too. This episode taught me a lesson that I might be holding onto till my grave and the lesson is that “people are constantly evaluating you on the basis of your demeanor, personality, lifestyle, attire, choices, words, and actions”. It’s like living in a Truman Show, a movie where the character is filmed live since his birth, and every move of his is viewed by audiences globally.

Hence I am not surprised when I see it happening around me time and again. I have come to realize that it is genetically coded in us i.e. to play status games with the ones around us or similar to us. I am one of us, and hence not immune to the wiring of a human brain.

Whenever I saw someone wearing their Gucci belt or LV shoes or carrying a Hermes bag, my brain would zip at the speed of light to make its assessment. If the brand was subtle in its display, I liked it more. But if the brand were too loud in its presentation, I would be turned off by it or the consumer. 

Either way, I perceived the consumer to be successful since they could afford the luxury product. 

It surely was this wiring that made me save money for months to buy my first Doc Martens shoes or Levis Jeans in my teenage years. I wanted to feel good about myself and be cool having these products. I still remember my first purchase of a Louis Vuitton belt, when I was treated like a VIP personality and pampered to no end with refreshing drinks, a cushioned sofa to wait, a butler kind of sales rep bringing my belt to try - it was the whole shebang.

I felt valued. I felt like I made it.

This was decades back. These luxury products don’t excite me as much as they once did. Unique experiences are what thrill me the most today - Sauna at Loyly in Finland, a fjord cruise in Norway, or a Skydive in Switzerland.

But once I cross over into the world of travel, even here there are places to go to or experiences to indulge in that signal a kind of success e.g. going to Rajasthan for a trip is good, but going to Taj Palace in Rajasthan draws awe from people. Going to Georgia for a short trip is good, but going to Interlaken in Switzerland creates envy.

It's subtle, but it's there.

Even if you would cross over to the world of spirituality/religion, you will also see different kinds of status signaling. The ones in close proximity to the seer, have gone out of their way to facilitate, support, and assist in the growth of this particular branch of spirituality/religion. And hence there is a constant drive to do more, and be more in line with the values of that specific branch, even if it comes at the cost of personal health or relationships at home.

I get to witness this regularly, given that I’m an Indian and we have huge followership of religious and spiritual beliefs. Someone around me is always trying too hard to show how much he believes or cares about the rituals involved.

Even the pursuit of health and wellness isn’t left behind. Here too I see umpteen kinds of symbols to signal one’s wealth while pursuing a healthy lifespan. Oura Ring has been one of the best devices I purchased 4 years back and it has been a very useful tool. My sleep score averages around 89 and I am pretty happy with the benefits accruing from good sleep on daily basis. But today, Oura has its own Gucci branded ring, which exactly has the same functionality but carries the Double G logo on it. And it has been selling very well. 

That USD 1000 is not for longevity alone, it signals success too and that’s what USD 750 is going towards. If functionality is all you seek, then the USD 250 ring will do the job just fine. 

But why not flaunt my success when I have worked hard for it?

(That’s your brain talking to you)

And that’s how the Gucci ring sells itself.

There is no world that you are a part of that doesn’t have its own status signals. You just may be ignorant or unaware of it, but it will speak to you louder and get to you, just in time. It’s like your brain has a status detection system that’s on ‘Activated’ mode 24/7. You cannot switch this off, no matter how hard you try to. It’s part of being human.

And since it’s forever yours, it makes sense to understand these status games at a deeper level. Will Storr in his book ‘The Status Game’ mentions 3 different kinds of status games that we are wired to play -

1. Dominance Game

2. Virtue Game

3. Success Game

Dominance Game -

The current war between Russia and Ukraine is a kind of dominance game being played by Mr. Putin. How dare Ukraine allow western military or ideology close to my borders? How dare Ukraine think of itself as an independent nation? Who the hell does the West think we are? How long can European Union survive without my Natural Gas?

Every single move of his stems from establishing dominance over the erstwhile powers i.e. US & Europe. There may be a lot of history to it and strategy involved, but at the root of these choices is a status game at play. 

Dominance game was played by those who bullied you in school, played by your boss sometimes, and constantly played by industry leaders or governments the world over. 

Virtue Game - 

If you were to visit this handle on Twitter, you will be surprised to learn that they have been drilling holes in tires, staging protests in supermarkets and dairy plants, disrupting the logistics of dairy supply and the list goes on. 

The whole base of volunteers has decided to take the law into their hands because it serves the purpose they all believe in. The purpose has taken over practicality in this case, and the same thing happens time and again.

I remember reading about an anti-vaccination volunteer and she shared that her child's nanny introduced her to a Facebook group of Super Moms who did not want their children to be vaccinated. She was impressed by these ladies and eventually influenced (subtly) to the side of anti-vaccination, which made her argue with her doctors and even her own family. She was so enamored by the group, that she was getting vocal about anti-vaccination at every opportunity she got, and subtly scoring points within the group.

It is only after she was made to realize that she has gone too far in her stand against vaccination, did she muster the courage to let go of the hold this ideology had on her and eventually got herself and her kid vaccinated. 

What interested me the most about the story was her reference to ‘being subtly seduced into a virtue game without realizing that she was getting sucked in’. It felt right all the while until it didn’t. She felt powerful while taking a stand against Big Pharma and the pro-vaccination narrative, she felt like she was changing the world for the better. She felt valued and loved by her group every time she had arguments with her cousins or doctors on vaccination. She didn’t even realize the costs or the risks she was taking all along.

This is an example of human wiring at play. And the same is happening now with the Animal rebellion group.

Success Game - 

The college admission scandal of 2019 was an expression of the Success game at its worst. From Wikipedia -

At least 53 people have been charged as part of the conspiracy, a number of whom pleaded guilty or agreed to plead guilty. Thirty-three parents of college applicants are accused of paying more than $25 million between 2011 and 2018 to William Rick Singer, organizer of the scheme, who used part of the money to fraudulently inflate entrance exam test scores and bribe college officials. Of the 32 parents named in the FBI affidavit filed in U.S. District Court in Boston, more than half had apparently bribed their way into the University of Southern California (USC).

Just think of this for a moment. Many of the parents are multi-millionaires with massive businesses, estates, and wealth. But getting their children to reputed universities was immensely important to them, not just for the higher odds of professional success in the future. But having kids that go to Harvards & Stanfords of the world also signals that you raised your kids well and won the mega lottery of successful kids. 

This may sound stupid to you and you will even be somewhat happy to know that a lot of these parents were sentenced to prison and community service spanning many months/years.  But it's as human as it gets.

Just the way you and I can sense envy rising in us when we see our peers buying a new villa in an upmarket community in our city, it's the same for rich people. In fact, they are involved with multiple success games at the same time i.e. kids, wealth, neighborhoods, holidays, attires, and invitations. 

Why do you think many rich people have a lot of mental issues to deal with? And if you don’t believe me when I say rich people have a lot of mental issues too, then listen to any of the interviews of renowned psychologists on your favorite podcasts. You just might be alarmed to learn about the ghosts that haunt very rich people.

“A house may be large or small; as long as the neighboring houses are likewise small, it satisfies all social requirement for a residence. But let there arise next to the little house a palace, and the little house shrinks to a hut. The little house now makes it clear that its inmate has no social position at all to maintain.” - Karl Marx, 1847

(Photo by Nick Romanov on Unsplash)

We are tribal animals and hence we look for groups, choose to belong to that group that resonates with us, and then we play the games that are loved by the group. But we don’t want to be in the bottom rung, and hence we strive to get good at stuff, rise up the ladder, score brownie points, and feel valued and loved by the group. 

It’s automatic and it's constant. There is nothing wrong with it, since its this pursuit that progresses us forward as a society and as a species. Things go wrong when you play the game, with the wrong intent. 

If you know yourself and your limitations, then you would play the games that are favorable to you given your strengths and skill sets. You will have to learn to conquer envy else it will drive you mad.

You will need a purpose to drive your actions and choices, else you will be looking at how much others have and how less you have compared to them. You will need to switch off constant access to social media that makes you feel less, if it does.

Constant status signaling on social media has gained gargantuan proportions and your brain isn’t good at handling that stimulus.  

Now I understand the piece that Paul Graham wrote about ‘identities’ where he mentions “The more labels you have for yourself, the dumber they make you.”

Being a value investor shouldn’t make you think about the crypto bros as morons. Being an American shouldn’t make you feel anxious around all the Chinese people. Being a Tik Tok influencer with 100,000 followers shouldn’t make you look down on those with only 100 followers.

But it does. It’s the labels we carry that influence our thinking, become our identity, and sucks us into playing the wrong games all the time.

So stay simple, stay open-minded, protect your mind space like a treasure chest, and keep pushing forward one step at a time towards a goal that inspires you and excites you.

The scoreboard will take care of itself.

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Recommendations for the week #

If you are keen to understand the Russia-Ukraine situation and its impact on capital markets globally, then this piece from Credit Suisse is a must-read. It’s insightful, objective and could allow you to prepare your portfolio for the uncertainties that lie ahead. As for the author, Zoltan Pozsar, do watch out for everything that he writes. These are gems from one of the finest analysts out there.

My piece on status games was inspired from many places, and one of them was a piece from Lawrence Yeo. His blog ‘moretothat.com’ has produced some delightful reads over the years and the recent one on ‘envy’ was a home run. This piece is filled with his observations on this subject and provides you with enough perspective and tools to deal with it.

Ryan Holiday is one of my favorite authors and his books ‘Ego is the Enemy’ and ‘Obstacle is the Way’ have been game changers for me. His piece on 12 extraordinary stoic moments gives you a glimpse into character traits that have made few leaders etch their places in history and in our minds forever. The stories are short, but the wisdom runs deep. Highly recommended.

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Wishing you all a fantastic weekend and I look forward to your comments and feedback as always.

Wishing you loads of love and luck 🧿

Manish