Illusions We Live By

and why we don't need to...

“We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.” - Iris Murdoch

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The dictionary defines illusions as 'an instance of a wrong or misinterpreted perception of a sensory experience’ or ‘a false idea or belief’.

But the irony is that it doesn’t appear as false in the doer’s mind. It rather appears as a reality that he can hold onto, something that gives him comfort and hence he cuddles it even tighter, something that gives him hope and even strength to maybe keep going on.

This does work out sometimes, but at most times, and on most occasions it doesn't. Today I will delve into a few illusions that could be harming you more than you can imagine.

Things will get better 

Imagine you’re a cricketer in South Africa and playing well in the domestic circuit, but you don’t get picked up for the national team or the major tournaments. You either could stay back and hope things will get better or you pack your bags and head to a country that might offer better chances at being a professional cricketer. It’s a difficult choice to make - keep holding onto the thought “things will get better” or let go and try a whole different approach. 

That’s exactly what Devon Conway did by leaving South Africa and heading to New Zealand to pursue Cricket professionally. Now he plays for the New Zealand National Team and has been creating a reputation to reckon with. He even scored a fantastic century (100 runs) in the opening World Cup Cricket match on 5th Oct in India, beating England handsomely in the inaugural match of the tournament. This has been preceded by prolific performances in New Zealand, and also in IPL (Indian Premier League) under the Chennai Super Kings franchise. He also was named the ‘Wisden Cricketers of the Year’ in April 2022.

Things don’t get better on their own. You’d hope they do, but they rarely do. You would need to make a choice that could turn the odds in your favor, that could uplift your spirits, and give you enough mental muscle to attack the problem from another route.

I am not suggesting that you give up and leave your country to try your hands at your pursuits in another country. But you will have to make changes to overcome your obstacles to succeed at the pursuit that is consuming you today. And changes do require dropping something and picking up something else, and that could be a new country, a new tool, a new process, or a new partner to move ahead with.

This applies to sports, business, career, relationships, and every other domain that’s important to you. I was a vegetarian in 2015 when I suffered from thyroid and psoriasis. I had to read about food and biology to understand that I may need to drop being a vegetarian and try eating quality meat, as suggested in Bulletproof Diet. It’s been 8 years and I am fitter and happier than my state of mind and body in 2015. 

I had another choice too i.e. continue being a vegetarian, keep popping pills and visiting doctors, and hope things will turn around, just as doctors make you believe. However scientific journals and research suggested that it might just be the food intake that could alter the body’s defense mechanism and hence it deserved a try. And I am grateful that I did give it a serious try. Thank You Dave Asprey.

Nothing will happen

What’s the one thought that crosses your mind when you do any of the following -

• Add 1 extra spoon of sugar

• Lie because no one will find out

• Break a red light because no one is looking 

• Miss your workout routine while on holidays

• Buy that one crypto product even if I don’t understand it

• Invest in places only because someone you know also invested there 

• Gulp down the free drinks in a lounge or a party just for this one-night

“Nothing Will Happen” - that’s exactly what goes on in your mind, justifying your choice in that moment. It might be okay if that was one such moment, never to repeat again. But temptations like this keep repeating time and again, day in and day out, in investing, in relationships, and in life. 

 It might be okay if the costs involved or the risks lurking are not fatal, but that is not so. Sometimes, the risks could just lead to the most catastrophic results that you wouldn’t wish on yourself or anyone else. A case in point is the recent accident that Indian billionaire Vikas Oberoi was involved in, which led to the death of a Swiss couple driving their Ferrari in Sardinia, Italy. 

If you look at the video, Vikas might have just slipped out on looking at the rearview mirror in his blue Lambhorgini before taking that slight left turn, just a small slip-up, absolutely unaware of the zipping Ferrari on the left. What’s the consequence of this slip-up? He faces the possibility of 7 years in prison, the burden of guilt for causing the untimely demise of 2 people, reputational damage in his own country, and the hassle of dealing with all things that follow from here. 

Nothing Will Happen today, but if you hold onto thinking this way, something disastrous will happen soon. Don’t ride your luck so hard that it runs out of steam to support you. What if luck too is keeping count of how many times did it favor you and what if there was a quota? What if?

There is so much time

I am 43 and I still vividly remember my graduation days at MMK College, my post-graduation days at KJ Somaiya College, and my early days in Dubai. It feels like time has zipped by and I am still standing there, fitter and happier than my college days for sure. Why does it feel like I’m just standing there? I have built a career, a reputation, and assets across different countries, and in spite of the financial security, I still feel like I have barely moved.

Could this be because I could have done so much more than what I did accomplish? Following things run through my mind when I’m seeking for things I could have done but I didn’t -

• Learned Arabic

• Created a community

• Completed CMT/CIMA

• Learned Salsa with my wife

• Become a better stock picker

• Spent more time with my cousins

• Built a website with educational products on it

• Read the 600 books on my Kindle or in my library

• Become prolific at a musical instrument like Guitar or Handpan

• Built a YouTube channel with hundreds of thousands of followers globally

• Developed deeper relationships with friends from school/college/workplace

• Contributed more by teaching the underprivileged or sponsoring education programs 

I could have done some of these for sure, if not all, if only I would have spent less time on entertainment, seeking pleasure, chasing money, or impressing others. I suppose it takes time till some wisdom sets in our minds and allows us to distinguish the trivial from the important, the nonsense from the critical, energy-sucking from the energy-bearing. 

I have embraced the fact that it does take time to get the mental wiring right and have also started to realize that the times ahead will fly away, just like the times in the past did. Hence I am choosing to make the most of my time now. Few examples from my choices while I’m in India for a holiday -

• I am traveling to Bengaluru just to meet a few people whose company I treasure a lot

• I am meeting my cousins and friends in Mumbai, who are dispersed between the north and south of this crowded city 

• I am reading books that have been on my pending list for a long time eg. The Hidden Hindu, Upanishads by Eknath, Think Fast & Slow by Daniel Kahneman

• I am working out in the gym opposite my house, in spite of the holiday temptations to just eat and chill

• I am writing my weekly blog in a cafe filled with people having a great time on a lazy Saturday morning

Time is flying by. 

I want to catch it, seize it, and make the most of this resource that seems to be flirting with me at all times, waiting to abandon me with ease and at the slightest slip of my presence of it or attention to it.

The next 40 years will not be slipping out of my hands like the years before. The times ahead will be exciting, energizing, enlightening, and adventurous.

Let’s make this happen.

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Wishing you all a fantastic weekend ahead 🍹

Sending you loads of love and luck🧿

Manish