Have you made your 2023 Resolutions yet ?
If not, you soon will and I wanted to help you out.
2023 will be the year for regular workouts and eating healthily.
Next year, I will start saving more than spending.
I am not going to repeat my mistakes from 2022. 2023 will be the year of change.
I have started hearing these statements on a daily basis now. Colleagues, friends, cousins, and even strangers have inhaled the hopeful air of possibilities and transformation in 2023. It seems like governments all over the world have found an elixir of sorts and have started spraying it in every nook and corner they can reach to.
Or maybe they carry out this exercise every December. No wonder this is the time when everyone is filled with confidence, passion, and resolve to tackle the next year by bringing a 10X version of themselves to the game. Everyone’s looking at the challenges, adversities, and responsibilities and shouting out "Bring it On. This time, you are finished”
🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁
I too am filled with vibrant energy and brimming with joy to wrap up the year and start a new chapter in 2023. I have a lot of projects that I am working on, and these will definitely need a 10X version of myself to fulfill many of the goals I am taking on. Hence I too, love the December air for making it the time of the year to reset, recharge, and restart the pursuit of happy-ness in our own little ways, in our own little worlds.
Since most of you too will be reviewing your mistakes or lessons from 2022 and planning your goals for 2023, I thought I’d help out in you crystalizing your thought process. My intention is to nudge you in the right direction, with appropriate expectations from yourself, from others, and from 2023.
Nothing I state below is original, and all of it has been said before on many occasions and in different formats. I am just bringing it to you in one place and in a digestible format.
I am hoping this genuinely helps you out in making 2023 your best year ever. Let’s begin -
Nothing is easy. Nothing. So Get Ready for the grind.
I recently published my 1st Youtube video and it was a very painful journey to get through. I recorded a video and the audio on different devices, but couldn’t sync them initially. It took me hours to edit the video and hide the umpteen ahs, uhs, and hmm in there. It took me time to figure out Canva for making thumbnails, and youtube channel art. In all, that was 25 hours or more invested in my 1st video on my channel. Phew.
How many watched it? 39. How many commented? Only 1. What was the average duration of watch time? A paltry 1 min. and 20 seconds.
And if you ask me “Was it worth the pain?” I’d say “YES !!!” It doesn’t matter how many people watch or read my creative output. What matters is that I am enjoying the journey, making stuff, getting better at building new skills, and learning from incredible creators on platforms like Youtube & Substack.
It makes me happy and fills me with joy - that’s what matters most and hence I will do it again. I know it’s not easy, and it never was supposed to be. No one promised me that. So why even expect it to be a magic carpet ride?
The same lessons apply to gyming, learning, studying, losing weight, gaining weight, finding a job, getting grades, having a beautiful marriage - just about everything. Nothing is easy. Don’t expect it to be. Get ready to show up every day and go through the grind, thoughtfully and one step at a time.
Mind is a Devil's Workshop. The only way out is Systems Thinking.
You will feel lazy to work out, you will struggle to meditate regularly, you will eat junk, you will get busy at work and forget things, and you will get burnt out juggling all the important or critical tasks in your life. Unless you build systems in your daily schedule that shape your decisions instead of your emotions or your environment.
Download a To-Do List App and start noting down everything that needs to be handled. Join a gym that is closer to work, so that you could show up regularly without using willpower or motivation. Stuff your kitchen cabinet/office drawers with healthy goodies so that you don’t crave food and land up eating junk. Learn a new skill with your partner so that you have a routine built in wherein you spend quality time together, and have fun too. We are loving our Arabic classes on weekends and Habibi, hu Jameel :)
I would urge you to read James Clear’s book ‘Atomic Habits’ if you would like to learn more on this subject and build in systems in all domains of your life. You will thank me for it.
Communicate Communicate Communicate
Everyone around you has expectations from you. Parents expect you to show up as their child. Children expect you to be a super dad or mom. Colleagues expect you to be the best at what you do. Boss expects you to do more than anyone else. Friends expect you to be understanding and loving.
They may not say it, but it's implied. And that’s absolutely ok. What’s hidden behind these expectations is that they expect you to know their expectations of you. Now that gets tricky because it is impossible to know unless you could read people’s minds. And hence, you will need to speak up and communicate.
Communicate with others in a way that removes unreasonable expectations. Communicate the likely timelines within which stuff will get done. Communicate what will not get done or what will get delayed. Express your love. Say I’m sorry or please when needed. This is a sure-shot way of building enduring relationships with family, friends, or colleagues.
And when you start communicating clearly and regularly, you will be surprised to see how it creates a space for others to do the same. These could become your superpowers in time to come.
Give more than you receive/Do more than what you are paid for
There are a lot of people, in billions, who do not have the comforts and privileges that I have. There are many more who were not lucky enough with the country they were born in, the family they were born into, the education they received, or the opportunities they got.
Coincidentally, a few of my colleagues were discussing the most critical moments that led to the jobs we have and the lives we live today. And in each of our cases, it was some bizarre stroke of serendipity or luck that worked out in our favor.
Where did you get lucky? What have been the most bizarre moments of serendipity in your life?
That recognition is enough to feel extremely blessed and be generous in every way possible. This attitude would make you give more in a relationship than expected, do more than what you are paid for, tip more, say thank you more often, leave 5 Star reviews for service providers instead of taking them for granted, leave feedback or rating for your favorite podcast, or reach out to someone and ask if you can help in any way.
There’s a lot that can be done and should be done to make someone else’s day special. This might be just the thing they needed on that day to fight another battle or overcome another obstacle.
Pursue Mastery instead of Performance
There is enough stress going around to make ends meet, build a decent retirement account, provide for the family, stay healthy, impress others, get recognition, and much more. The last thing you want is to get more stressed about hitting targets in every domain of your life.
Targeting a USD 10 million bank account will fill you with envy and anxiety. Rather take on getting better at saving more every year, spending less every month, and getting better at investing every day.
Instead of stressing about becoming an ironman runner and winning gold, you could take on getting better at fitness with your weekly workouts, getting more efficient at running or cycling, or even getting graceful in your movements with every passing day.
“There is no guarantee, no ultimate formula for success. It all comes down to intelligently and relentlessly seeking solutions that will increase your chance of prevailing. Consistent effort is a consistent challenge. When you meet the challenge, the score will take care of itself.” - Bill Walsh
Sandeep Mall shared this point in greater detail in his weekly post and you can read it here.
Say No to Negativity !!!
Ultimately, your own productivity and efficiency come down to your own energy levels. When you are high on energy, you can be present in the moment, execute multiple tasks at sonic speeds, work out, meditate, choose well, do more and be more.
But the moment this vital energy is sapped away from you, you will be like fish out of water, struggling to balance things, overwhelmed with chores, mentally drained out under expectations, and with a grumpy face by end of every day.
Which one would you like to be?
If the former is what you chose, then cut out negativity from life - negative people, negative news, negative associations, and negative opinions. They aren’t worth your precious time.
Surround yourself with people filled with positivity and ambition, people with an objective point of view, and with an open mind. Consume content that enriches your soul, informs or educates you, or entertains you in a wholesome manner.
Strive to sleep better.
Sleep is what repairs your mind and body. Sleep is when a lot of restoration and regeneration takes place. Sleep is when nerve cells communicate and reorganize, which supports healthy brain function. Sleep is when toxins are released and memory function is enhanced. A good night's sleep is a superpower. It’ll help you think better, think faster, and execute like a pro.
It surprises people when I say I sleep for 7-8 hrs, almost at the same time daily, even on weekends. I have prioritized my sleep only since 2019 and it’s been a game changer.
For a deeper dive into this subject, do listen to Mathew Walker's podcast on Huberman Labs. You would be surprised to learn what’s happening inside your body while you're in la la land, and how important it is that you let these restoration processes happen.
Finally, Journal daily.
What did you do with your spouse on your 3rd wedding anniversary? What was special about your 37th birthday? How did you celebrate the day in 2013 when you got the news about your new job?
It’s difficult to retain all the information, even if it’s a really special occasion and with loved ones. You are bombarded with 10,000 pieces of information on a daily basis and your 1300-gram brain can only handle the bare essentials to survive.
But if you want to retain the most precious moments in your memory, then start journaling thoughtfully. If you are serious about reviewing your lessons and mistakes from the past, then start journaling. If you are committed to making progress, then you will have to get good at tracking and there isn’t a better way than daily journaling for that.
I’ll share my format below.
Every year-end, I get to visit all the days of that year and relive, in vivid colors, the joyous moments of that year, the stupid ones, the funny ones, and the life-transforming ones. I could do that for any day since 2019, and I cherish these recorded moments on my Evernote app. Life’s already short and I don’t wanna feel it’s even shorter because I just can’t remember the moments I’ve got to experience.
In 2023, I intend to go 10X on my journaling habit with videos and pictures. It’s time to elevate my game and it begins with becoming good at recording moments of my life in 4K color mode. I’m excited about this, and so is my wife since I won’t be resisting her requests for the same anymore 😁
I hope this list helps in looking back at 2022 and planning for the year ahead.
In 2023, I wish you loads of happiness and abundance 💕
And sending you lots of love and luck for the same.
Manish