Have you also decided not to decide at all !!!
A Fresh Perspective.
You would have surely come across these marketing messages and may have even cringed at the lie that these messages so effortlessly paint for consumers to make a decision now or today or this week.
Even I would, especially when I see special shopping events like Black Friday, Singles Week, and Summer Surprises being marketed all over newspapers, Twitter feed, hoardings, and every nook and corner that an advertiser can get his hands on.
But I’m beginning to realize that human beings by their very nature abhor making decisions because it is preceded by a lack of certainty and clarity about the outcome. Now, this is a tricky place to be in, in an outcome-driven world.
If I book this hotel, will it be the best one? What if it turns out to be a dud?
If I participate in this cohort-based course, will it be worth the money? Or am I being sucked into another marketing ploy that promises me heaven but delivers nothing?
If I buy this shoe rack, will it look good in my house? Or should I try a few other stores in the mall? Is the capacity good enough for the no. of people at home?
Of course, you want the desired outcome to be accomplished. Of course, you want the biggest bang for the buck. But no shopping around or surfing endlessly on the internet jungle will provide you the certainty of that outcome. You only will have a feel for it, and a lot of assumptions are to be made which could lead to wrong decisions, some turning costly too.
And that doesn’t give you the confidence to pull the trigger. So you keep the decision for another day.
What doesn’t help is the baggage of previous decisions that have gone wrong. Memories of some earlier decisions could be weighing you down just like a 20 kg stone would. Some would have even made you doubt your own ability to make good decisions, making you seek others’ opinions at every turn. Some of them were so painful, that the memory of it fills you up with fear and chokes you into making no decision at all.
My decisions around buying property in 2008 and 2013 haunt me even today. Both turned out to be money-losing bets and have been a drag on me since then. The one I bought in Dubai in 2008 is trading at less than half its purchase price, and the one I bought in Mumbai in 2013 has not been delivered yet. We even have a court case going on against the builder which entails weekly zoom calls, signing documents, coordinating with my father and the lawyer, and much more.
Every time someone makes a proposition around a new property investment, I turn into a turtle and go hiding in my shell. You won’t notice it because I’m looking interested in the property-related discussions, but mentally I’m turned off, enjoying the comfort of my cozy shell.
Sometimes, the decision will bring on additional work and you might question the utility of delving into it at all. Or you might worry about people’s opinions about you if you chose to go ahead. You might even question your ability to make good on that choice since it is outside of your comfort zone.
“If I bought that DIY table from Ikea, I will have to fix this whole thing on my own, and grrrr.. I don’t wanna do it.”
“If I bought that gym membership, how will I take time out for it? I am stuck in traffic for 2+ hours daily, I work 10+ hrs daily, I am stressed out to reach work on time in the morning and stressed after work too, I just don’t have the energy to push myself further, and weekends - please don’t ask me to go the gym on weekends, that’s my day off to enjoy my week at least for a few hours”
“If I bought that Youtube/Newsletter course and started to publish my content online, who will even read it? My friends might make fun of me, and I might become the laughingstock at work. It’s not worth the risk”
These are subtle, playing in the back of your mind, while you seemingly go about your day just like any other. But there is a lot going on between those two ears and hence more decisions are postponed for another day.
And hence most people decide to not decide at all. They find safety in inaction - also termed as ‘everything remains the same’. They find comfort in not ruffling how things are currently. They don’t want to rock the apple cart. They even would rationalize by saying they are content with the present and need no change.
It’s alright if one is truly content. But I rarely see people truly content and embracing 100% of what life has to throw at them. Most begrudge what they have to deal with. Most would choose the discomfort of the known devil, instead of flirting outside in the unknown.
I believe that they use contentment to resist any change that the decision will bring along, any additional effort that it entails, and added decisions that will need to be taken once this one is executed. This is pertaining to decisions around change eg. courses, seminars, gym memberships, new language tutoring classes, etc.
It’s like being caught in a stupor and finding it almost impossible to move out. Or like being locked in your own head and not seeing a way out, at least on your own.
It can be frustrating within, while everything looks normal outside. It’s a mental cage and you are powerless against it.
Unless a marketing tactic does its magic on you. Unless you are looking at scarcity in its face and you have no other option but to act. Unless you are going to miss out on a seemingly great deal, that may not be coming back again.
And as humans are expected to act when experiencing FOMO, they will put their hands in their pockets to remove their cards to make that swipe - which will quench this feeling of having succeeded at getting a great deal closed/having secured a spot just in time/having this feeling of certainty about the path ahead.
And it works in most cases. In some cases, it works wonders.
I did buy the shoe rack when it was at a 50% discount and have been using it for over a year but have realized that it’s much smaller than what we need. I will be on the lookout for another one soon ;)
I did buy the gym membership by paying the annual fee upfront because I got a 30% discount. It was the best decision I made because it’s got better equipment, bigger space, better crowd and most importantly, it has a Sauna facility that I use very regularly. Maybe someday I will have 4 pack abs to flaunt too ;)
I still can't forget the line outside the French Fries shop in Amsterdam or outside Cooper Fudge in Lonavla. I have stood in these lines and I vividly remember the fear I was grappling with - “I just hope they don’t run out of the stuff.”
And when I did get my fries or the fudge, the joy I felt had no bounds. That even made the food taste twice as good as it actually was. I’m being stingy when I say twice :) Add to this the memory that you would cherish for life.
Next time I see any sign that nudges a customer to act with urgency, I won’t cringe anymore. I know that it is needed to nudge someone ahead, to encourage someone to take the plunge, to invite someone to be open to a new experience.
I would just hope that the right person ends up taking the right decision for achieving the specific desired outcome.
As Jim Rohn once said, “Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.” We are not born with this sense of urgency and life feels alright if your coasting along just fine. But alright isn’t great, alright isn’t purposeful, alright isn’t what built the beautiful world that you and I get to experience today.
Hence we need induced urgency, without which many would never act. We need an agent that crystalizes that energy in us to move ahead.
We don’t want a world where people are ok with ok, where people resist change, where people have embraced their comfort zone, and where people fear new experiences.
What we want is a world where people explore new things, try stuff, experience things out of their comfort zone, overcome fear, self-express, chase their dreams, and live a life of vitality and abundance. That would need one to take decisions and for this - any outside help is welcome.
And yes, I will buy a property again. Will keep you posted when I do ;)
Recommendations for the week #
Shane Parish writes a fantastic blog and I highly recommend it to you all. I would rate it as 5 Stars for the value it adds to my life, for the wisdom it shares from across genres, and for the delightful read that it makes up for. I loved his post on Stonecutter’s Credo , especially his take on the power of environment vs the strength of one’s willpower. Environment makes progress come across as a graceful journey whereas exercising willpower at all times is an energy-draining pursuit. Understanding this distinction clearly could transform your life.
Paul Graham wrote a piece on Reading in November 2022 and it gave me a perspective that I can’t help sharing. Have you heard people talk very clearly about the subject at hand? Have you read blogs/newsletters/write-ups that added immense value to you? Have you met people who have a thought process and demeanor that oozes wisdom? What if ‘reading’ is the superpower behind these remarkable abilities displayed by other mortals? If you are intrigued, then do read the piece.
There is a quote from Walt Disney that resonated with me the whole of November and even made me rethink my game plan for 2023 - “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
Wishing you all a fantastic weekend ahead. For those in Dubai, hope you are having a lovely long weekend on account of UAE National Day.
Sending you loads of love & luck.
Manish