Emotional Scar Tissues

I'm hoping you have some..

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

I decided to have sun fun on Google and typed the following in the search box “7 ways to……” and look what I found -

“7 ways to hear god’s voice” seems most intriguing ;)

But you may click on any, which would open up thousands of websites on the steps required to gain proficiency in your preferred choice. You’ve probably tried this at some point. At least once before, for something you thought was important on that day.

And if you read the piece on 7 ways to “develop empathy” (for e.g.), did it work for you? Did it alter your habits/lifestyle significantly? Did it help you create the results you aspired for?

If NO is the answer (which it is in most cases), then think about it for a second. Why didn’t it work? Maybe the author did have good intentions and had a lot of value to add from his experience, but his words still fell short? Or there might be another reason, and I invite you to think about it.

The odds are pretty high that you may have understood the meaning of all the words and references mentioned in the piece on “7 ways to develop empathy”. But maybe, just maybe, the reason that drove you to pursue that goal died out i.e. the fire wasn’t strong enough. I’m just thinking out loud. This is what makes me give up what I am pursuing.

But the stuff that I have chased relentlessly, it always had an emotional scar that pushed me ahead in spite of all resistance, internal and external.

Becoming successful in my career was not an option for me, as I saw my father lose everything in the 1990s while attempting to build a corporate gifting business. We have lived off other people’s generosity for years, and I wouldn’t wish that for anyone.

Being very conscious about my health and wellness is not an option, as I’ve seen my cousins and friends suffer from umpteen complications on account of smoking, drinking, or sedentary lifestyles. And some of them even live with self-inflicted wounds of stress, envy, or low self-esteem. And all these habits and thought patterns, eventually manifest in the physical breakdown of the body, one day at a time, leaving one incapable of doing the most basic of tasks.

Photo by Tim De Pauw on Unsplash

Let me share a few examples - I have a dear friend in his early 40s who can’t run 100 meters without passing out. I have seen a very close friend suffer from Breast Cancer and how it broke her down physically and mentally. I vividly remember the afternoon when I saw her crawl from the hall to her bedroom, as she couldn’t walk and she didn’t want any of us to help her do so.

Thinking about these episodes scares the hell out of me, and I don’t want that for me. I want to be physically active, mentally sharp, and emotionally strong. These are essential for living a good life and enjoying the short stay I’ve been blessed with on this beautiful planet.

My mind’s started running onto the memory lane of Eminem's struggles from the movie 8 Mile. There are a few lines from the song ‘Lose Yourself’ that gives you a sense of the pain and struggle he had to endure on his way to stardom.

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

He's nervous, but on the surface, he looks calm and ready

To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin'

What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud

He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out

He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now

The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow

These lines ain’t reflecting just Eminem’’s experience, it’s every performer’s initial experience. It’s what pursuing excellence looks like. Testing the limits of your comfort zone ain’t all roses and sunshine, it's dark and scary. But this is the only way to come out shining bright and on top of your game. 

But can Eminem inspire you to become a rapper, Yes indeed. But can he inspire you enough to go through with the journey till the end? Never. That would need your own realizations from your own experiences that play a significant role in shaping your perspectives, attitude, and habits. And it’s these 3 that are eventually going to shape your destiny. 

Just in case you're wondering if a piece on rappers has anything to with investing, then I don’t blame you for that line of thought. This is an Investing related substack after all. And yes, rappers have a lot to do with Investing, and it’s all about the journey that each field would require us to go through.

Eminem was pursuing respect, which he didn’t get in his childhood. He didn’t want that for his kid and that drove him to excel at his game. What’s driving you to invest wisely? What’s driving you to excel at the money game?

If it's the glitzy lifestyle that you see others living on Instagram, then you are in for a rude shock. These glossy images and fancy lifestyle videos ain’t going to make you spend time reading, researching, learning, and building deep knowledge in your subject of study. These images would just motivate you temporarily, which then fizzles out like gas from an open can of Coke.

But the greatest have a fire that burns bright 24/7 - 

Benjamin Graham developed the Cigar Butt style of investing since he was heavily influenced by the depression era post-1929. Protecting his capital was of paramount importance to him as he didn’t want to deal with poverty ever again.

Charlie Munger was pursuing independence, which required him to become one of the greatest at the game. His own words on this would give you a glimpse of the fire burning inside him - “If freedom is what you want, becoming independently wealthy is the only way to do it.”

John Bogle, Founder of Vanguard, was driven by his commitment to lower the cost of investing for the masses and for setting higher ethical standards for the Money Management industry. He pursued this mission relentlessly and spearheaded the growth of Vanguard to USD 7 + trillion today. 

Every successful Investor had a fire burning within.  And each of them had emotional scars from their lives that shaped them into thinking the way they did.

In no way does the emotional scar guarantee success of any kind. But it indeed is a necessary condition to have that inner strength to push forward despite the discomfort and inconvenience that the pursuit brings along.

If you have felt the struggles of those who depend on their paychecks for survival, then you might strive harder at excelling in your career. 

If you have felt the anxiety that comes with losing your money, then you might strive harder to make wiser choices around money and investing.

If you have felt the pain of being made redundant, then you might muster the courage to one day pursue entrepreneurship/side hustle.

So don’t let pain or discomfort become the reason to wind down and pack up. Look at it as the price to pay for the rewards you desire or aspire for. For those who had it come too easy to them (according to you), don’t envy them. That’ll be a sheer waste of time. You don’t have the 100% inside scoop of that person’s life, his bets, his risks, and his challenges. So why judge him and compare yourself to his achievements.

Rather focus on the work at hand, and do it better than anyone else on the floor. And then repeat it again, tomorrow. And then, do it again. Before you realize it, people might be talking about your lifestyle and pics shared online.

Till then, embrace your emotional scar tissues and get on with the task at hand. It gotto be done and no one’s doing it for you. It’s you and you all the way !!!

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Recommendations for the week #

I was inspired by Eminem and Gully Boy for this piece. And hence sharing with you the links that I watched to get a sense of the direction I wanted this piece to take. Eminem fans would love these 2 videos - this, and this. Gully Boy fans would love this, and this.

Going through the pain and still standing tall may look like a very small thing, but it has huge repercussions in years to come. It’s like a Boxer that was being shaped by all the bullying in his teens. These small acts of courage and defiance could alter the very life one gets to live. This is what’s called the ‘Butterfly Effect’ and Shane Parish has done a wonderful job of writing about this topic. Highly recommended.

I recently read a piece on the statistical subject of ‘Ergodicity’. It was a very well-written post and elaborates on the possibilities of extreme success and the thought process required to avoid extreme failures. It’s a MUST READ for a stock picker.

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My wife and I have enrolled in a handpan training program and we are having a blast learning this beautiful musical instrument. Hopefully, I shall share a good musical performance with you all. For now, it’s been exciting to practice and get better at it, one day at a time ;)

Wishing you all a fantastic weekend ahead.

Manish