Do Hard Things

Today. Tomorrow. And every day after.

Aug 12, 2023

Friend (on Friday): “This weekend, I will study for my post-graduate examinations and go to my gym and lift heavy. Gotto make this weekend count.”

Same friend when I talk to him on Monday: “I got busy man. My friends showed up from India and the whole weekend went into taking them around Dubai. Just didn’t get time for studies or workouts.”

How did the story develop on the next weekend? Did he take time out to study or work out or invest time in productive pursuits?

Nope.

Every weekend had a different reason, a different circumstance, a different bottleneck - but the same result.

Isn’t this common? Don’t you too see this around all the time?

This episode made me introspect on “What do most people want exactly?”

In case this sounds too generic, then my question to you is “What do you want the most?”

And if you were to jot down the answers from others or those swirling in your mind, the list might include a few or all of the following -

Great Relationships
Financial Freedom
Meaningful Work
Independence
Peace of Mind
Healthy Body
Travels
Joy

Almost all the answers will relate to some or the other topic mentioned above. Now let’s get to how are these even possible to achieve.

Let’s cover 3 topics from this lens i.e.

Investing since this leads to financial freedom
Psychology since this leads to great relationships
Longevity since this leads to a healthy body and peace of mind

And also because this newsletter is primarily about these three.

Investing

It is commonly known that Investing successfully can lead you to financial freedom and riches that could be enough for the next generations to come. Tim Ferriss invested in Uber & Shopify when they were startups, Warren Buffet invested in See’s Candies & Apple, Rakesh Jhunjhunwala invested in Lupin & Titan Industries, and a few of my clients invested in Tesla & Microsoft a decade back. All these people have earned boatloads of money from their investments and you would of course want that for yourself too.

What you may not be aware of is the journey these investors had to go through to make things happen. Let me take you through how Tim Ferriss became a part of the Silicon Valley circle that made access to many start-ups possible for him. He started a business, succeeded at it, burned out in the process, and eventually sold it off. Then he moved to Silicon Valley, started writing a book, and to make the book launch successful, he started volunteering for events like SXSW and would become the most hard-working guy there and people noticed. He made connections and went out of the way to help/assist/contribute in all ways possible.

And eventually, when his book was launched, people knew him, many had heard of him or seen him around, many recommended the book (4 Hour Work Week) on their blogs and it eventually entered the bestseller list to create a massive windfall for him. This publishing success began a whole new journey of counseling and advising start-ups which is where he struck gold with Facebook, Twitter & Uber.

It’s not a story that simply goes like ‘a genius hitting the ball out of the park every single time’. It’s a story that includes nine years of a challenging business, months and months of writing the first book while volunteering in events that had no payoffs in the short term, and years and years of podcasting and refining his skills, in spite of amassing enough wealth from his business, books and speaking gigs.

It’s a story of doing hard things, again and again. Starting a business, writing a book, volunteering, podcasting - he didn’t just dive into these. He mastered every element of these domains by interviewing people and experts who had already achieved success before he even entered the scene.

How many would be ok to take on projects that are hard, that test your capacity to its limits? How many would like to volunteer outside of their daily work to network and build connections? How many would be willing to be the most hardworking volunteer day in and day out with no financial payoffs in the short term?

It’s hard. Not physically, but mentally. Because we are designed to do what pays off now. We are designed to do the easy stuff. We are designed to be comfortable. And the modern technology doesn’t help. Food gets delivered to the doorstep, everything is available for shopping with a few clicks, and even the gym is being replaced by EMS (electrical muscle stimulation) at home.

Almost everything in our environment contributes to us becoming softer, mentally and physically.

Relationships

The best part of ‘Invest Like the Best’ podcast is when Patrick O’Shaughnessy asks people “What’s the kindest thing someone has done for you?” and invariably all talk about someone trusting them and giving them a chance that changed their whole life.

Just try to understand the significance of this answer that has shaped our societies in more ways than you can imagine. I have started appreciating the role of relationships even more after having this realization through vicarious learning. You too could start by listening to Founders Podcast episodes on Dior, Balenciaga, Christopher Nolan, James Cameron, and all others there. Every single story talks about the role of relationships and how they moved the needle for these visionaries and legends we have so much to thank for.

I have even written a post on this topic in December 2021 and you can read it here.

But earning the trust and confidence of others isn’t easy. You don’t get it by working on it. You earn it only by making your life an expression of cherished values like respect, integrity, empathy, honesty, love, loyalty, justice, and so many more. There is no exclusive list of these values but you know it when you see it.

My aunt (mom’s sister) is a doctor and has been treating patients for free in municipal clinics for decades, besides running her successful practice from her home office in Chembur, Mumbai. I remember being in that municipal clinic during my childhood and seeing the joy on these patients’ faces after getting the love and attention my aunt would shower on them. She does that even today. She is 70+ but still volunteering, running her business, and even studying.

She has been one of my biggest inspirations in life and my trust and confidence in her is unshakeable. Ironically, she didn’t work on earning this trust from me, she wouldn’t have even thought about it for a second. She just went about her work, poured her heart and soul into it, cared for people, did her best at all times, satisfied her curiosity through learning constantly, and heaped love and praise on us all when in our company.

There is another aspect to building great relationships and that was expressed beautifully by Jeremy Giffon, a Private Markets Investor on a podcast on ‘Invest Like the Best’. He stated that people rarely use the words “I am Sorry”, “I Love You”, and “Thank You” in spite of these simple words being the key to building a titanium bond between people.

I would encourage you to try expressing these words and mean it when you say it. You could make a list of people that you haven’t taken time to thank or express your feelings towards them, or maybe holding onto a grudge that has made the relationship go cold. In each case, all it might take is to pick the call and express yourself. That few seconds alone will require you to let go of your ego, of your righteousness, of your past baggage, of the heaviness that being self-expressive brings along.

But there is loads of joy to access here, for both the parties in this conversation. But it’ll be hard. Because our minds are clogged with a sludge of emotions, anxieties, and worries stemming from the past and the future that we are swimming in. It takes a lot of mental and emotional muscle to be alive in the present moment and to focus on the now and do what’s going to energize you and others around you.

Add to this the complexity that comes in when our mind goes on a rampage judging people on everything about them i.e. their communication skills, their dressing sense, their tone and voice, their demeanor, their work ethic, their past mistakes, their unforced errors. And it’s not easy to keep our judgments away and embrace the fact that everyone is different and has had different experiences, upbringing, and education and these factors have shaped them a certain way.

These things are hard, but these things are essential too for building enduring and energizing relationships.

Dinner in Abu Dhabi with my parents (on my left) and a friend

Longevity

You type this word on youtube and you get all your favorite actors and actresses talking about food, nutrition, workout routines, and their daily protocols, and the best part is that it’s free. You have doctors, dieticians, and biohackers like Rashi Chaudhary, Luke Coutinho, and Dave Asprey whose interviews are available for free too on your preferred podcast medium, and youtube.

The information is abundantly available and free. So what is stopping someone to take the necessary steps for building a stronger body and eating healthy? It’s not the physical process that seems intense and grueling on initial observation. It’s actually the mental process that makes us postpone for tomorrow, it’s the inner battle that gives into the sweet tooth today, it’s the stress that seduces us to binge eat or become a couch potato, it’s the envy that takes a lot of time of ours in thinking and feeling unlucky, it’s the insecurity and FOMO that makes us fatigued by the end of the day.

Even if you had financial troubles, there are videos for home workouts for free on youtube. You need nothing but your body and that could be used as weights. But the mind is playing games and choosing the critical stuff for today (or appearing as critical but may not be so) that ensures your survival and comfort. But the thriving part, the being alive part is thrown out of the window.

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Tripat Singh is 80 a year old fitness influencer who is running marathons at this age and winning top spots regularly. He has participated in 100+ marathons and works out on a daily basis. He states in one of his interviews “When people in his circle complain about their backache or stomach pain or digestion issues, I have a smile on my face because I know that these issues began only when they stopped being physically active.”

You will be surprised to know a few more facts about this gentleman -

He has 1.1 million followers on Instagram
His bio reads as Digital Creator and Fitness Model
He can be seen doing intense workouts in the gym with no support from anyone

If Tripat Singh has found the means to stay fit and live his life with vitality, what valid reason do so many have to let their work or their social affairs become the reason to slip up in this domain? No reason is good enough.

If at 80, he could learn skills to build a brand on social media, inspire and influence millions, and become a source of wisdom - then you could too. But it’s not going to be easy. Your mind isn’t going to make it feel like a bed of roses. Every bone in your body is going to hurt when you push yourself hard lifting a weight you are not used to.

But it will be worth it.

Holy Trinity

If you find a common pattern between these three domains, you would realize that it’s not the destination that is difficult nor is the talent missing. The hard part is winning the battle against our minds in each of them. But our habits and our tech-savvy society have made it easy to reschedule things for later, to give up, to give in, and to listen to the devil seated on our ears shouting out -

‘Please do this tomorrowwwwww’.

The only way out of this hole is by doing hard things today, doing hard things daily, just so that you build the muscle to not give in, not give up, not choose easy, and not choose tomorrow.

What are the hard things you can do daily (choose any one, to begin with) -

Fast
Write
Journal
Meditate
Hit the gym
Go for a run
Compliment someone daily
Taking social media absence
Muting all notifications on the phone
Express “I’m sorry”, “I Love You”, or “Thank You”
Start with a cold shower first thing after waking up

These are hard things but they appear not as important as your most cherished goals of becoming a millionaire, an entrepreneur, or a CEO. But it’s the willingness to do the hard thing time and again that will get you there. It’s the muscles that you will develop in the process that will make your climb easy. It’s these hard things that will build your arsenal to take on fights that are crucial in the mental landscapes of our lives.

Everything begins with a thought in the mind before it manifests in the body and in our actions. And if this realization has dawned on you too, then you will not shy away from doing hard things. You will embrace them and step up to the challenge.

You will feel good, you will feel strong, you will feel confident.

And these are the 🗝️ to making things happen in each of our lives. And we must !!!

Drops of Wisdom

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