Dis-traction Vs Traction

Let this become your superpower.

“You can always find a distraction if you're looking for one.” - Tom Kite.

Photo by Hugh Han on Unsplash

I aspire to become many things in the future, and a few of these are shared below - 

• A successful Banker with USD 10 billion under management with our team 

• A non-fiction writer with 100,000+ readers globally 

• A fit and active professional 

• A loving family man

Each of these goals has my attention and my commitment. But every time I start working towards these, there is a constant tugging coming from my mind that wants to do something completely unrelated. 

Let me give an example of this morning alone. I wanted to write today’s piece but I could hear my mind seeking desperately for an answer to “Who won the match between Sri Lanka and Bangladesh yesterday?”

I gave into my mind’s persistence a.k.a. the monkey mind and took 5 mins out to watch the highlights on YouTube. Great. Sri Lanka won the match and now I can focus on my newsletter.

Even before I could get started on the piece, the monkey mind got worried about the G20 Summit going on in India and started crying for this piece of information. G20 is an important event and India is the current chair and hosting the same. It’s my nation whose pride is at stake here, so I better go digging about it. And YouTube again comes to the rescue with Palki Sharma’s 11-minute summary of what all happened at G20 yesterday. We had many accomplishments (source: Bloomberg Quint Prime) -

1. The African Union has now become a permanent member

2. All 83 paras of the joint declaration have 100% consensus across all countries. A G20 Declaration without any footnote or chair's summary demonstrates India's ability to bring everybody to the same table.

3. A major green development pact to focus on financing, cutting global greenhouse gas emissions, a global biofuel alliance, sustainable development, and ending plastic pollution, among others, for which every single country has come together.

Now that G20 is done, it’s time to get back to my piece. The moment I go to the blank page on Google Docs to write, my monkey mind states in an assertive tone “You are not ready for this piece Manish. Better do some research to sound wiser!!!”Grrrr… Maybe he’s right.

So, I rush into the online abyss of blogs and videos on distraction, and I bump into a website called ‘heroic.us’ founded by Brian Johnson.  The website looks slick, the UI/UX was great, the social proof drew me in, and now I am invested in this website and the contents therein. I even downloaded the app and was looking at pricing options for annual or monthly subscriptions.

I am already 45 minutes in, I have traveled the world of productivity online in this time, and I have learned about the power of focus, but I haven’t yet written a word. I have my CMT classes in 2 hours, then drop mom to Bur Dubai, and then head to the gym, post which I need to make a presentation for work which would need another 2 hours of reading, and then spend some time with family 😳

Photo by Jamie Haughton on Unsplash

Now the stress levels are inching higher. I start panicking a bit and close all open tabs, get a fresh page of Google Docs on my screen, and start typing what comes to my mind. Everything written above is an expression of what’s going on with me in the last 60-odd minutes. 

Isn’t this crazy? 

I have a goal. But I still act like it doesn’t matter.

I have milestones. But today isn’t the day to move towards it.

I have dreams. But my mind and body are playing their games.

Am I alone here or does this happen to you too?

Do you go through the same mental trips?

Do you struggle too to make things happen?

Do you too get distracted in the online abyss of content?

If yes, then I have a few suggestions that might work 👇

“Too many choices or irrelevant options can cause hesitation, confusion, or worse—abandonment.” ― Nir Eyal

That is our problem today i.e. too many choices. Just try to enter a supermarket to buy potato chips, and you will be bombarded with 29 types of flavors, 5 different package sizes, 4 competing deals on different brands, and 11 other healthier options in place of potato chips🤯

No wonder we get lost inside these supermarkets and Ikea stores, or malls. By the time we return to our car, we are fatigued, poorer by 100s of dollars, and many hours wasted without getting much done.

I try to stay away from malls for this very reason. Every bright store, every SALE banner, and every colorful product has its own way of exciting my monkey mind, drawing me in, and entertaining me to the point of my hands reaching my wallet and making the payment at the cash counter. I only end up questioning these purchases the next day, post a good cup of coffee and a good night’s sleep.

Why did I even buy this?

And since the world isn’t designed for our productivity or simplicity, we have to be on guard at all times against these impulses to indulge in the games created for our entertainment, and their enrichment.

We can do that by adding pressure on ourselves to stay the right course and take the road less traveled.

Pressure is defined by the Dictionary as ‘attempt to persuade or coerce (someone) into doing something.’

And it works !!!

It’s subtle in its functioning, but it does deliver the results. It might deliver a baby step in the right direction, but nothing ever was a leap forward. Every success that has inspired you has been one baby step after another.

Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

Internal Pressure

• Write your goals daily

• Write your to-do list daily (work/non-work both)

• Set Up reminders

• Audit your day/week/year

• Do something every day that is uncomfortable 

• Read autobiographies to set a benchmark for operating 

• Read a few self-help books regularly

Every item mentioned above looks simple, but it’s not. You may think that the world does these things daily, but most don’t. Most have dreams but it’s stored in the recesses of one’s mind, only coming alive when they see an inspiring movie or hear a motivational speech. But one needs to keep the dreams alive, which makes daily actions easier. It gives purpose to your very being, making every day filled with baby steps of various kinds.

I have a daily reminder on my phone for 8 a.m. 👇

This just snaps me out of my selfish goals and makes me think of adding value to someone, without any return of any kind. I may not be able to act on this reminder daily, but I do end up doing many things that I wouldn’t have been able to do if I was busy with pursuits that benefit me and my family alone.

Reading a few self-help books or autobiographies looks like the least important of the lot mentioned above, but they have a very important role to play. When you become aware of how Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Mahatma Gandhi, Warren Buffet, and other giants of their fields go about their lives, it will only make you wiser in making choices in your own lives. It will make you push yourself harder, build your skillsets deeper, act with empathy, and stay grounded at all times.

And sometimes you come across statements that could shape your life in more ways than you can imagine. That one statement for me was “Go soft, and life will be hard on you. Go hard, and life will be soft on you.”

Reading is a box full of surprises. You never know what gem is hidden in the next book you pick up.

External Pressure 

• Interview 5 people close to you to get feedback about you (try this out)

• Ask people ‘how could you help?’

• Tell people what you are committed to 

• Build in public 

• Take on a challenge that is team-based

I was once told by the late AD Narula “How people perceive you is also your responsibility”. I resisted this message until life taught me the painful lesson that people don’t change on their own. It takes a lot of work, persuasion, conversations, and more to get people aligned on shared goals and objectives.

It’s this very reason that calls for you being aware of how people perceive you, how your demeanor or communication lands on people, and what could you do better. You could shy away from this feedback or be fearful about what you may hear, but just think -

• What if the feedback allows you to accelerate your progress towards your cherished goals?

• What if the feedback assists you in building durable relationships?

• What if the feedback nudges you to make some changes that could only make you happier?

Even the team-based challenge mentioned above would make you mentally strong to not give in to your monkey mind. Left alone, you could succumb to the persistence of your echo chamber. But when like-minded people come together, the shared goals drive the behavior, not leaving much wriggle room for 🐒🧠

That’s why I highly recommend getting a fitness coach, joining a cohort to learn a new subject instead of studying alone or a self-paced tutorial or becoming an active member of a community instead of a passive observer. Either way, surround yourself with people driven to achieve a lot. You will invariably move far ahead compared to making progress alone.

As Nir Eyal states in his book “Dissatisfaction and discomfort dominate our brain’s default state, but we can use them to motivate us instead of defeat us.”

In the same spirit, I invite you to take on the challenge of building these internal and external pressures to keep you on course. Without these, your mind is a loose cannon, with enough levers to make you act inconsistent with your self-interest.

Take action that moves you closer to where you want to go. Building these defenses is where you begin the journey.

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Recommendations for the week #

Harvard Business Review published an objective analysis of India’s ascendancy on the global stage. It makes for a good read for anyone investing in India.

Morgan Housel wrote a brilliant piece on values that you and I look up to in others, and should aspire for in our own lives at all times. You might want to save this article and revisit it once every quarter at least.

Nir Eyal gave a Google Talk on the subject of Distraction vs. Traction and I’d encourage you to spend an hour on this video to get deeper insights into creating momentum in your affairs. Highly recommended !!

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Wishing you all a fantastic Sunday ahead.

Sending you loads of love and luck🧿

Manish